Why did I do it?
My son lost his dad very suddenly last year – he was only 57. It was very traumatic for my son who was only 22 at the time (his dad and I divorced 11 years previously). His dad didn’t leave a will and there were a lot of complications with the estate, and practical issues to sort out – my son (understandably) wasn’t dealing with it all very well. He was also moving into the house he’d inherited and there was a lot of ‘stuff’ he’d also inherited which needed to be sorted out – like brand new clothes to sell (so many of them!).
It was coming up to my busiest time at work and was also a crunch time for my son dealing with his dad’s estate, so I considered my options. I could ask for a sabbatical, but the policy was that you needed to give 4 months’ notice. I thought of resigning, leaving and finding another job further down the line but was persuaded by a couple of people to ask for the sabbatical and much to my surprise it was granted. I was so grateful to my managers for the support – they knew that I was really struggling to deal with this and that it would only get worse. They sorted out someone who could cover my workload and we had a thorough handover, so I felt like I was leaving my work in good hands – which was important to me.
What was my plan?
I wrote out a list of things that needed to be done with the estate – I then had a weekly meeting with my son to go through the list and send emails/sort stuff out online. E.g. deal with the solicitor, sort out putting his dad’s car into his name, send in the documentation for the pension accounts and so on.
I thought that it would be important to have a schedule, and to keep some kind of routine. I had a list of things I wanted to do daily – eg going to the gym, 15 mins housework, putting stuff for sale on Vinted etc. I wasn’t very successful with sticking to the list.
I knew I would be living to a strict budget which I hadn’t been great at doing up to that point. Not being paid for three months would have a big impact on my savings.
I also wanted to make sure I spent time with family and friends. I felt it was important to keep that social contact going, as I would miss being in touch with people daily while not working.
How did I spend my time?
First things first – I had a 10 day cruise booked just before my sabbatical started. I was back from that on 30 April and my sabbatical started the next day. That first morning I woke up feeling a bit guilty about work but I gave myself a talking to – I wasn’t being paid, and they had someone to cover my work. And, more importantly I needed this time for my son. I have to say, that was the first and last time I felt guilty about not being at work!
My first job was to sort out my airing cupboard! This had been bugging me for weeks and only took about 20 minutes to tidy and organise. I find that things that cause ‘friction’ in my daily life really need to be addressed before I can start to deal with the major issues! The lesson here is that things you’re putting off probably won’t take as long as you think 😉
I was focused on helping my son – there was a lot of stuff that needed sorting out for the solicitor, and also I wanted to help clear his house of his dad’s stuff. I spent time emailing the solicitor and meeting with her, and also researching one of the issues my son was dealing with related to the estate. There were lots of things to do like close accounts, set my son up with his bills for his house, work out what to do with his dad’s car, and sort through a lot of the stuff that was in the house.
I had thought I would sell the clothes on Vinted but quickly realised it was way too big a task. I sold some stuff and then arranged for the rest to be taken by someone with their own eBay shop who agreed to sell and take a commission. Since then I’ve also had a bit of a sales spree on eBay and Vinted of my own stuff – decluttering and making a bit of money.
Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash
I also spent some time reviewing my finances including my pension funds. I set up a couple of debit cards so I could allocate some money from a couple of my spending categories, to try and control what I was spending – so, a card for grocery shopping and petrol and a card for my personal spends. This worked really well!
My son, his partner and their dog and I had a family caravan holiday for a week, along with a group of friends which was really good fun – it was great to spend time with my son, his girlfriend and their dog as well as everyone else.
I also went to Cornwall to visit my cousin for a few days. I never usually get time to do this in the summer unless it’s August which is NOT a good time to visit Cornwall if you don’t like sitting in lots of traffic!
My son moved out during this time, and now I’m an empty nester. It feels really odd to be truly living on my own after living with my son for his whole life. There’s a whole other blog post in that!
I also booked two more cruises – one for the end of November (a transatlantic crossing to Miami) and one in March 2025 in the Caribbean meeting up with two friends I met on my Celebrity Mediterranean cruise in 2023. I love having something to look forward to!
How did I feel?
That feeling of freedom was amazing. Knowing that my time was my own, and I could decide what I wanted to do and what I didn’t want to do.
It made me realise that having time freedom was really important to me, and that’s when the focus on my finances kicked in, so that at some (hopefully near) future point I could realise my dream of easing back on paid work and having more time to myself, and to pursue other interests.
Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
What do I wish I’d done differently?
I gave myself a huge list of things to do which looking back was unrealistic – and I felt like I hadn’t achieved much because there was still a lot of stuff left on the list. However, when I looked at what I had achieved, it was incredible. I do wish I’d prioritised the list more, and broken the tasks down into smaller chunks – like selling on Vinted and eBay
I really wish I’d been able to establish a regular gym habit, but I had a lot of joint and pain issues during that time.
I do wish I hadn’t spent so much time on social media! Although I did discover a UK based blogging group on Facebook which I’m hoping will inspire me and be my tribe.
What did I learn?
Time away from work gives you breathing space
It’s very hard to try and get your son to engage in the sadmin that comes with sorting out their dad’s estate
I don’t want to be constrained by my working hours/pattern – for example it’s very difficult for me to take holiday in January and almost impossible in the summer
Being on a tight budget really helps you to manage money better
I’m better off than I thought and I (used to) spend a lot of money on stupid shit!
I can spend less money on groceries and still eat well
I need to stop having a ‘lack’ mindset and spending money on ‘cheap’ stuff that doesn’t last
I don’t think I’m quite ready to ‘retire’ – yet!
How did it feel going back to work?
August is a quiet month for us so there weren’t as many people around to notice I was back. Because we don’t work in the office a lot I’m not sure many people realised I wasn’t around – and my sabbatical was organised in a rush so there was no big announcement.
It was odd at first and I felt a bit resentful of being back to the grindstone – but I felt a lot better about it when my August salary hit my bank account!
What is my plan going forward?
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Now I’ve reviewed my finances, I’m going to move my pension from an advisor where the fees are eating away at my pot into more passive income funds
I want to build a regular savings habit and add to my S & S ISA, and investment account
I want to establish a side hustle; build on my eBay/Vinted business and look into other ways of making extra money
Although I’m not ready to ‘retire’, it has got me thinking about whether I’m in the right job and what that might look like going forward
There are still things to sort out with the estate, and I’d like to get that wrapped up as soon as possible.
Tim Ferriss came up with the phrase ‘mini retirements’ in ‘The Four Hour Work Week’ to describe a three to four month ‘break’, typically to travel (but you can also ‘find’ yourself) – these are a wonderful way to help you to take a step back from work, and breathe. Although what I did doesn’t fit strictly into this description, it was enough for me to recharge my batteries and re-evaluate where I am and where I’d like to be.